“Choose a woman who chooses you” were words spoken by David Deida in reference to intimate partnership. I’m finding them really helpful in the context of female friendship.
One of the reasons I’ve noticed that friendships between women can go awry is not at all in a lack of love or caring, but in a difference of visions for the relationship. Just like in intimate partnership, when one person “wants more” than the other, expectations can unconsciously be created. Maybe we should treat friendship a tiny bit more like partnership where we discuss each woman’s vision early on for how she’d like to see the relationship develop. This could clear up a whole mess of misunderstanding about where friendships “are going”.
Lifestyle and family obligations play a huge role, as does the number of deep friendships someone already has in close proximity. For example, if a woman has many close friends nearby and a busy family life with lots of demands on her time, she may not have the desire or space to form another deep bond.Read More