Inclusion & Empowerment

Inclusion & Empowerment

I am all for feminine empowerment and women strong, so much so that I resonate with being a feminine warrior to the point of putting it on my business card as a job title. I feel it intensely right now, the powerful feminine, in the immense web of women holding hands under the surface in the unseen, stretched across the globe, together rising to meet what needs to be met for the sake of our children, ourselves and the planet.

I feel intensely too the pain of separation and exclusion. I feel it in national pride and patriotism, in places where it’s meant to bring feelings of inclusion and love. To me it feels like exclusion and separateness, and brings me to a deep sadness. The world’s people are good. We miss that when we close in too tightly in protection of “our own”. Let’s travel the world and feel the hearts of her people, and we will want to wrap our arms around them too.

I feel the separateness in the feminine movement. Even though we say, yes, also the feminine in men, who we exclude are the good men. There are good men. Great men. All around us.

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Women and Friendship

Women and Friendship

“Choose a woman who chooses you” were words spoken by David Deida in reference to intimate partnership. I’m finding them really helpful in the context of female friendship.

One of the reasons I’ve noticed that friendships between women can go awry is not at all in a lack of love or caring, but in a difference of visions for the relationship. Just like in intimate partnership, when one person “wants more” than the other, expectations can unconsciously be created. Maybe we should treat friendship a tiny bit more like partnership where we discuss each woman’s vision early on for how she’d like to see the relationship develop. This could clear up a whole mess of misunderstanding about where friendships “are going”.

Lifestyle and family obligations play a huge role, as does the number of deep friendships someone already has in close proximity. For example, if a woman has many close friends nearby and a busy family life with lots of demands on her time, she may not have the desire or space to form another deep bond.

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Ideal Family Ratio

Ideal Family Ratio

I’ve decided that the ideal family ratio is 3 to 1, three adults and one child.

Last week we had friends from Australia stay with us, a wonderful couple, Ryan and Rachel, and their 10 ½ month old daughter, Clara. Amazing people. Total cutie baby. Really fun. Ryan could only stay the weekend, and Rachel and Clara for the rest of the week. What I noticed is not based at all on traditional gender roles because any one of us could have done most of the tasks, but this is how it naturally flowed between Andrew, Rachel, Clara and me…

Andrew worked. He brought in the majority of the income to support us, took us out for coffees and dinners and kept us content. I supplemented the income, drove us to places to keep us entertained during the days, cooked most of the meals and did the picking up and laundry. Rachel took care of Clara, meeting her every need and being an all-around superstar mom. Clara was Clara, adorable, sweet creature who kept our hearts open, feeling the purity of love in the house that only a baby can bring.

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