Keep It or Let It Go

I was still trying to fit myself into a box, squeezing within its tiny walls, forcing my feminine flow to conform to convention. I don’t fit. I’m not alone. We try to though, and constrict ourselves in the process. That’s what I was doing, still denying my fluid feminine to fit the way our more conventional society likes to see things done.

I’ve longed for the feminine arts to be valued in our culture and in my life the way my heart knows they deserve. The flow of beauty and love that pours through in the arranging and decorating of a home, the care-filled making of a sweetheart’s lunch, the devotional baking of a cake. I feel it in my mom’s sewing, her love coming through. Everyone feels it when they touch something she’s made.

Recently I gave an intuitive reading that became the gateway for a fascinating thread of discovery. The reading was difficult for me. The woman was guarded, and it held back the free flow of psychic information, making it less enjoyable for both of us.

After the reading, I asked for guidance. “What can I do to become a clear enough conduit that information flows freely and easily, even if someone shields herself?” The answer I got was to clear out the closets. Sounds trivial. It wasn’t.

I love letting go of stuff. I do it almost as sport, sometimes erring toward letting go of too much. I thought this would be just another round, but it became much more. As I released excess and arranged the closets, I fell in love with the abundance still there. I felt gratitude flow through, as grace, for the wonderful plenty I saw all around me. The beautiful thing was that I didn’t make it happen. It happened.

Our stuff was teaching me to love abundance. The excess had been keeping me stagnant and occluded in life. I learned it wasn’t the abundance itself. It was that everything needed to be made visible, brought out into the open, with nothing left hidden. I am highly sensitive, and the hidden excess felt like chaos under the surface. I didn’t need to let go of everything we have to bring ease to my nervous system. I needed it seen, organized, and put away with my full awareness of where it lives.

Clearing out the closets became a whole-house endeavor. Congestion moved out of my body as my sinuses and digestion went haywire, and I shed more weight than I meant to. I smudged like crazy to help the people release the stuff and the stuff be released by the people, with love.

The corollary was not lost on me between my request to “see clearly” in readings and the resulting need to see everything in the basement and attic. It didn’t take long to realize that the basement represents the subconscious and the attic, the superconscious. No wonder the attic needed to be first, as I was asking for easeful, free intuitive flow.

I fell in love with the attic and also the basement, a place I mostly avoided because of how stuck it felt. Love began to move in new ways. The energy flowed freely, and I could see and feel it moving as the energy of love itself.

As the weeks passed, committed to whatever it would take to get it done, I started to value the process differently. My beloved could feel it too. I knew it would help with his work as well, and his business became full beyond capacity.

As I valued it more, I valued me more. I learned what is possible in transmuting and transforming spaces into magical, organic flowing energy. It is a feminine art of moving love through objects. Everyone feels it, like when my mom sews.

I was learning what I’d longed for, to truly value the feminine arts. In this case, it was the fluid maneuvering of the energy of things, creating the greater flow of love in our home. I’d gotten what I needed. I just hadn’t expected it to come, quite literally, through cleaning out the garage.

If you’re like me and you’re sensitive, and if you long for energy to flow as love through your space, it may not be about giving away more stuff. Try letting go of the excess and bringing order to the chaos. Clear what is stagnant, release the old, and organize what you keep. Practice looking at it in a different way, and appreciate what you have with new eyes.

Then see how you and your loved ones feel. See how love flows through your home and your life. My wish is that it does for you what it did for me and that gratitude and love begin to flow, as grace, through your world.