Keep It or Let It Go

Keep It or Let It Go

I was still trying to fit myself into a box, squeezing within its tiny walls, forcing my feminine flow to conform to convention. I don’t fit. I’m not alone. We try to though, and constrict ourselves in the process. That’s what I was doing, still denying my fluid feminine to fit the way our more conventional society likes to see things done.

I’ve longed for the feminine arts to be valued in our culture and in my life the way my heart knows they deserve. The flow of beauty and love that pours through in the arranging and decorating of a home, the care-filled making of a sweetheart’s lunch, the devotional baking of a cake. I feel it in my mom’s sewing, her love coming through. Everyone feels it when they touch something she’s made.

Recently I gave an intuitive reading that became the gateway for a fascinating thread of discovery. The reading was difficult for me. The woman was guarded, and it held back the free flow of psychic information, making it less enjoyable for both of us.

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A Call to Love

A Call to Love

“You will not harm the children.” A voice has been calling out from deep within my being. It’s fierce. It’s bold. It’s a rallying cry. It tears my heart open and asks me to stand in my feminine warrior. “Lead an army,” it has said.

I’ve wondered about the how. How do I do this? How do I speak out? How do I do my part? At times I’ve been confused, confounded by seeing others act on their own inner commands to stand up and speak their truth. I’ve wondered, is being out loud the only way? I’ve always been drawn to work more quietly. Was I following my own truth? Or was I choosing this from discomfort to do otherwise?

I see the children of today rising up in their fight against school violence, for their right to be unharmed in the very place that should be their safe harbor. I see their bright, beautiful, strong faces saying, “No more!” The call to protect the children looks different than what I imagined. The children of today don’t need saving the way I thought they would. They are empowering themselves and heeding their own internal call to step forward.

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Inclusion & Empowerment

Inclusion & Empowerment

I am all for feminine empowerment and women strong, so much so that I resonate with being a feminine warrior to the point of putting it on my business card as a job title. I feel it intensely right now, the powerful feminine, in the immense web of women holding hands under the surface in the unseen, stretched across the globe, together rising to meet what needs to be met for the sake of our children, ourselves and the planet.

I feel intensely too the pain of separation and exclusion. I feel it in national pride and patriotism, in places where it’s meant to bring feelings of inclusion and love. To me it feels like exclusion and separateness, and brings me to a deep sadness. The world’s people are good. We miss that when we close in too tightly in protection of “our own”. Let’s travel the world and feel the hearts of her people, and we will want to wrap our arms around them too.

I feel the separateness in the feminine movement. Even though we say, yes, also the feminine in men, who we exclude are the good men. There are good men. Great men. All around us.

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Women and Friendship

Women and Friendship

“Choose a woman who chooses you” were words spoken by David Deida in reference to intimate partnership. I’m finding them really helpful in the context of female friendship.

One of the reasons I’ve noticed that friendships between women can go awry is not at all in a lack of love or caring, but in a difference of visions for the relationship. Just like in intimate partnership, when one person “wants more” than the other, expectations can unconsciously be created. Maybe we should treat friendship a tiny bit more like partnership where we discuss each woman’s vision early on for how she’d like to see the relationship develop. This could clear up a whole mess of misunderstanding about where friendships “are going”.

Lifestyle and family obligations play a huge role, as does the number of deep friendships someone already has in close proximity. For example, if a woman has many close friends nearby and a busy family life with lots of demands on her time, she may not have the desire or space to form another deep bond.

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Ideal Family Ratio

Ideal Family Ratio

I’ve decided that the ideal family ratio is 3 to 1, three adults and one child.

Last week we had friends from Australia stay with us, a wonderful couple, Ryan and Rachel, and their 10 ½ month old daughter, Clara. Amazing people. Total cutie baby. Really fun. Ryan could only stay the weekend, and Rachel and Clara for the rest of the week. What I noticed is not based at all on traditional gender roles because any one of us could have done most of the tasks, but this is how it naturally flowed between Andrew, Rachel, Clara and me…

Andrew worked. He brought in the majority of the income to support us, took us out for coffees and dinners and kept us content. I supplemented the income, drove us to places to keep us entertained during the days, cooked most of the meals and did the picking up and laundry. Rachel took care of Clara, meeting her every need and being an all-around superstar mom. Clara was Clara, adorable, sweet creature who kept our hearts open, feeling the purity of love in the house that only a baby can bring.

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Guilt & Obligation

Guilt & Obligation

I'm noticing that guilt and obligation seem to be common themes right now, for me and other women. We still have huge access to move stuff, by the way, so now's a really good time to look at this.

If we're motivated by guilt and obligation, we may not even see them. They are sneaky devils that hide under the surface. If they are there, what we're NOT in touch with is how we might already be getting what we want. They can obscure our sight so entirely that we can't see what we have already.

We also can be blocking pleasure with them, and enjoyment of what is and what could be. The guilt and obligation are just vibrations of feelings, but they can ruin the rest of it. Even just noticing that we feel them can help shift them out of the way.

So, if you feel drawn to, go on your own little feelings treasure hunt to see if you find guilt and obligation demons. Love them. Ditch them. Thrive. That's how it feels for me right now, anyway. Happy hunting!

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Accessing Epiphanies

Accessing Epiphanies

I've been noticing that, during these intense times, we have even more access to powerful epiphanies about our lives and paths and greater access to ourselves. Here are three ways that have popped up for me that you can use too, kind of like treasure hunting:

1) Look to your cyclical learning. These are the lessons that keep showing up in life in new ways, that are repeating now. These are guideposts that show you what you need to see. They reveal what is in the way within ourselves. Uncover as much as you can about your patterns to allow them to shift out of the way.

2) Seek out the company of gentle and patient friends. Together we can actually help each other alchemize the ego parts of us that keep the insights and our true selves hidden. Do this with loving care by opening your hearts and holding space for each other as you share your truths. It may look at times like emotional drama. It's a portal, though, an opening for a false part of us to be shed. If your friend can't stay with you in it, it's ok.

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